Grief

Yesterday I stopped by the store to pick up some chocolate, toilet paper and a comb.

I was feeling lonely and sorry for myself and I saw a co-worker in the store.

Her husband died this past year.

Both of us heading home to an empty house.

I can't even imagine the grief and loneliness she has experienced.

I can't help what I feel but everywhere I go people are carrying around so much pain that I wish I could put mine into perspective better.

I feel pain over my parents yet I have friends who have parents that physically abused them, parents that committed suicide, situations so much worse than mine.

I wish I could snap out of my brain space and just live my life.

Every morning I wake up and immediately think of my ex. He is the first thing in my head. I don't want him or anyone to know.

It's a way of not thinking of ME. I don't know what else to focus on. He'll probably be there until I find someone else to focus on.

But I don't want to. I want to learn to be ME and to focus on ME. I may need to make that counseling appointment after all...