Sad

Now that my anger, and the confusion and the hurt have melted down I have felt a sadness lately.

I think this may be a sign of my feelings returning. But it's terrifying. As soon as I feel something I want to find a way to numb it.

I am scared of the sadness that may be lurking inside me but I know it's the price I have to pay if I want to feel happiness or love again.

I cried for a while last night and today over the goldfish. It seems so stupid but I loved those fish.

I got rid of them the week my ex moved out. I wanted to get rid of everything.

I felt nothing then but now I grieve for the fish. Or maybe it's what the fish represent.

It's making me cry now just to type about it. When I think of the things I still can't cry about it makes no sense.