Today a woman e-mailed me and wanted to know why I have taken her off my social networking sites.
I took her off when I broke up with my most recent ex. This woman (supposedly a friend, someone I had done nice things for and offered emotional support to during her divorce) knew about our relationship problems, yet really disrespected me by flirting and being all over my ex one night when we were at her apartment. And when we broke up she left flirty messages on his Facebook wall.
The co-dependent part of me would have added this woman back, repressed my hurt and negative feelings toward her and pretended to be friendly.
Instead, I sent a polite but assertive message telling her that she had hurt my feelings, I felt that she had disrespected me. I explained why. I told her that it may not be logical, she may not feel that it is rational or "right" but that after having my reality warped for the last 3 years I was going to trust my feelings and only have people around me that care about me and respect me.
She wrote back and apologized.
I feel great! I want to practice being emotionally honest as much as possible.
My family will be my last great hurdle with this. And a friend I've had since I was 12.
With my family I am so used to hiding who I am that I am really scared of being honest with them.
With my friend, she is very controlling and bossy and will not respect any boundaries I put up, I'm sure. I have always ended up being very passive aggressive with her because of this.
But still, if I can work on all the other areas of my life then it will be much easier to face those final obstacles.
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