I am still no contact with my most recent ex.
I feel guilty but it suddenly hit me today--he gave up the privilege of being close to me and talking to me.
He gave up a relationship with me.
He has had his proverbial cake and eaten it too during our relationship because of his relationship with his ex-wife. I'm not going to give him that.
Let him see what it's like to really not have me.
My ex-husband sent a long list of everything that's wrong in his life. He also told me his son tried to commit suicide.
This is a child I helped raise from the age of 2 to 14 years old. But I feel nothing.
What does that mean? I feel guilt and I feel anxiety about my exes but I feel numb.
I feel numb even toward my own family.
I'm hoping as I heal I can start feeling things again. It's like a bright light burnt out during my divorce that I haven't been able to recover. How can I feel nothing for a child I helped raise? It scares me.
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